Hi!! It’s Me!!

 

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This is me! My name is Candice, I am from Barrie, Ontario Canada 🍁

I have been on the fence about starting a blog for so long. I have a lot to share but with sharing comes vulnerability, I still am not sure I’m ready for it. Aside from confessions, I took a huge liking to graphic novels, comic books and video games. (more so the first two) I suppose my first blog should explain how I got there…

I have struggled with addiction my whole life, whether it was alcohol, drugs, a specific person, shopping or a game on my phone to name a few, it seemed like a never ending cycle. I, just like everyone else, have a red door in my brain. Complete with caution tape and a do not enter sign. For a long time I allowed that door to rule my life. I was never the popular one. I was out spoken, with no filter. I stuck up for the under dog. For the most part I didn’t let people push me around, during my dark times I was manipulative, vulgar and ignorant but you could never deny the compassion and love I had. I was taken advantage of… A lot… Without even noticing until to late. (these stories are for another time) it wasn’t until my most recent issues with addiction, (alcoholism) that I really fell down that black hole. I became a person I simply did not know. She was malicious, she hurt herself and others constantly, wreaking havoc, causing chaos and embarrassment wherever she went.

My life seemed unmanageable and out of control. I woke up in a beautiful hotel room, with a beautiful view, in beautiful Blue Mountain, yet, there wasn’t a single piece of me that was beautiful that morning. I starred at my phone, terrified of what I would find. I decided that day for the 8 millionth time I would never drink again. The difference is that since that day it has been almost one year of sobriety. I am not saying I will never drink again, but I am most definitely content right now.

Back to it..  My anxiety was out of control, withdrawal was horrid. I was the Foh Manager at a restaurant at the time, I yelled a lot, was easily irritated, a real peach!! I was awful. Learning to feel was the worst feeling EVER!!

 

Then, one day, by chance I walked into a comic book store with my very nerdy boyfriend (Comikaze in Barrie Ontario, Amanda is freaking awesome) and my whole life changed. I had finally found something that shut my brain off. I suffer from intrusive, racing thoughts, it shut them DOWN. I went from lacking the ability to read a single chapter, to reading everyday!! I started to work on the red door, slowly, it is very much still a work in progress but it’s progressing.

We all struggle, I have realized that you will always be looking backwards unless you find a reason to step forward. I am excited to share my confessions, books I love, movies, and anything else I am think if or that is possibly requested. 

Suggest your favourite graphic novel!!

Love xoxo

 

 

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7 thoughts on “Hi!! It’s Me!!

  1. Proud of you. Your Journey will be a long one, but with the right support, sobriety from your addictions will pave your path ❤️ – You were always a beautiful person, now let the outside & inside match & shine! Conquer the world one step at a time ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have a feeling I’m going to love reading your blog. You are one of the strongest people I know, and I am so incredibly proud of the work you’ve started on yourself. I feel like it’s been a long time since you’ve been able to just sit and reflect on yourself, and I’m very glad you’ve realized how important you are. You’ve come such a long way and struggled with so many demons, I’m happy that you’ve been fighting and haven’t given up. I love you!

    Liked by 1 person

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