What IS hiding in your closet ???
I am very new to blogging, I really don’t know a whole lot. Today while I was exploring, I came across The Daily Post’s daily prompt. I figured I should give this a try.
I have to be honest, there are probably 3 people in the whole world who actually know me. I would say 2 of those people know me better than myself. As a child (and still as an adult) I had night terrors, I had nightmares of a man that lived in my closet, he would open the sliding door and stare at me while I slept. He was a large man, normally eating and he was terrifying. Now come to think of it, in my dreams I can’t remember a single time where he tried to hurt me, even though I was sure he was trying to kill me. It’s funny how something like that can cause terror on you as a child. With an imagination so intense and vivid and yet, no concept of rational thinking. My daughter, much like myself at her age checks the closet every night before she goes to bed, the closet door must be open. It’s funny, as children the door needs to be open and we need to be sure there is NOTHING in our closets. As adults we’re constantly shoving things in the closet hoping no one opens the door.
If there was ever an award for bad choices, I am positive that award belongs to me. For the longest time, I tried to keep everyone away from the skeletons in my closet (red door in my brain). It was important that no one knew who I was or what I had been through. I was careful to be very “upfront and honest”, it seemed as though I was an open book. This was just not the case, it’s easy to filter information when it’s coming from you. I was ashamed and embarrassed, after being judged for many things you begin to expect it. What I neglected to see was that, whatever is hiding in my closet, lerking behind that red door is no ones business but my own. For them to judge shows only the things they hate most about themselves, as judgment is often more about the judger than the judgee. I am at a point in my life where my skeletons, mistakes and choices are not embarrassing. They are lessons, no only for me but for others who are walking a similar line. They are a constant reminder of my strengths and weaknesses. When we stop feeling afraid about who we are and what we have been through, a whole new world of opportunity opens up.
A few important rules to live by… Be careful who you confide in, chose your company wisely, never feel ashamed about your past, after all it did make you one bad ass mother fucker!