For every moment.

She watched the curves of his smile, taking in every scar, every imperfection that made him perfect. She memorized his eyes, his lips and the softness of his touch. She imprinted his voice in her mind to replay. She carried the weight of not only her choices, but also his. For everything she knew, for everything she understood, she was incapable of letting this go. The guilt of his addiction weighed heavy on her shoulders. She had been where he is before, feeling worthless, with no will to go on. It creeps up on you, the darkness, it swallows your soul. Ever so carefully picking at the parts it knows are no longer whole.  “I know I can’t carry his weight but such is life. It has always been a character flaw of mine to accept guilt for things I am not responsible for. I still love him and it worries me that he is so out of control. Unfortunately his choices cannot be the deciding factor on my stability. Eventually I have to let go.” Replays in her head. As the darkness lingers above her, ready to take it’s prize, she keeps moving. This dance she has done many of times. And although it may find a way to take her, that day will not be today. For all the suffering, there is some light. For all the sadness she sees a smile. For all the heartache she found hope. For every last moment she will still have hope for you. 

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