Waiting to Breathe

There is never a day that passes where at one point or another I am waiting  for the reminder to breathe. I imagine what my life was like without anxiety, only to realize I can’t. The constant erratic beat of my heart, accelerated breathing, the tapping of my feet and the anticipation of it coming to a… Continue reading Waiting to Breathe

An Angel Without Wings

For a long time, I had failed to see my purpose. I lived my life on impulse, without structure or guidance. I allowed others to walk all over me, in fear setting boundaries would upset them. The more I drank the farther I fell. I had become insidious, manipulative and jaded. I was a different… Continue reading An Angel Without Wings

Masks

I am a little late on the daily prompt, but I feel like I cannot skip this one. I for one wear many masks. Much like so many others, we adapt to the situation. The masks that really frustrate me are the ones you perceive as something completely different. Some of us are great judges… Continue reading Masks

Redemption

There is something to be said about redemption… we all make mistakes, we falter. We feel guilt and pain. Hurting for the pain we cause others. Eventually it’s becomes overwhelming, that constant need to redeem yourself. The glimmer of hope you have successfully shown you are worthy of forgiveness. The sad truth is the hurt,… Continue reading Redemption

Locked??

After spending many years bartending, serving and managing in the service industry, I felt locked in my position as General Manager. It seemed as though I would have to choose between my job or being a mother. It became blatantly obvious I would never get ahead there. I can’t lie I thoroughly enjoyed the service industry but… Continue reading Locked??

What’s Hiding In Your Closet??

What IS hiding in your closet ???

I am very new to blogging, I really don’t know a whole lot. Today while I was exploring, I came across The Daily Post’s daily prompt. I figured I should give this a try.

I have to be honest, there are probably 3 people in the whole world who actually know me. I would say 2 of those people know me better than myself. As a child (and still as an adult) I had night terrors, I had nightmares of  a man that lived in my closet, he would open the sliding door and stare at me while I slept. He was a large man, normally eating and he was terrifying. Now come to think of it, in my dreams I can’t remember a single time where he tried to hurt me, even though I was sure he was trying to kill me. It’s funny how something like that can cause terror on you as a child. With an imagination so intense and vivid and yet, no concept of rational thinking. My daughter, much like myself at her age checks the closet every night before she goes to bed, the closet door must be open. It’s funny, as children the door needs to be open and we need to be sure there is NOTHING in our closets. As adults we’re constantly shoving things in the closet hoping no one opens the door.

If there was ever an award for bad choices, I am positive that award belongs to me. For the longest time, I tried to keep everyone away from the skeletons in my closet (red door in my brain). It was important that no one knew who I was or what I had been through. I was careful to be very “upfront and honest”, it seemed as though I was an open book. This was just not the case, it’s easy to filter information when it’s coming from you. I was ashamed and embarrassed, after being judged for many things you begin to expect it. What I neglected to see was that, whatever is hiding in my closet, lerking behind that red door is no ones business but my own. For them to judge shows only the things they hate most about themselves, as judgment is often more about the judger than the judgee. I am at a point in my life where my skeletons, mistakes and choices  are not embarrassing. They are lessons, no only for me but for others who are walking a similar line. They are a constant reminder of my strengths and weaknesses. When we stop feeling afraid about who we are and what we have been through, a whole new world of opportunity opens up.

A few important rules to live by… Be 1186849_10153256500510037_735899785_ncareful who you confide in, chose your company wisely, never feel ashamed about your past, after all it did make you one bad ass mother fucker!

Love xoxo

Hi!! It’s Me!!

  This is me! My name is Candice, I am from Barrie, Ontario Canada 🍁 I have been on the fence about starting a blog for so long. I have a lot to share but with sharing comes vulnerability, I still am not sure I’m ready for it. Aside from confessions, I took a huge… Continue reading Hi!! It’s Me!!